December 5, 2013

Empathy Killers

I didn’t plan on writing about empathy this week. I got “hooked” while reading Nicholas Kristof’s compelling New York Times article, Where is the Love, over  “Thanksgiving” weekend and knew I needed to revisit the topic. In the article Kristof writes about the pushback he’s received from many readers in his recent pieces on food stamp recipients, prison inmates and the […]
November 14, 2013

Don’t Get Stuck in Your Story

Every person grows up carrying a narrative about who they are.  Most of that story is formed early in childhood with new chapters added to include adolescence and experiences as adults. The childhood stories are mostly formed by our parents and significant care-givers’ narratives about who they think we are. Mom says, “Tom’s a dreamer and very creative.” Dad says, […]
October 31, 2013

The 3 R’s of Leadership ~ Reflection, Relationships & Resiliency

I’ve often written about the slow death of the authoritarian leader – envisioning the demise of command and control thinking as the prevailing force in organizational life. It is slow going – isn’t it?  At least it feels that way to me – even as an “observer” in my role as a consultant. The power issue hangs over us.  Although […]
October 10, 2013

Forgiveness at Work – Cleaning our Emotional House

“Forgiveness is a lovely idea until you have someone to forgive.”  C.S. Lewis I’ve thought a lot about forgiveness lately. Often when we face life’s major passages, a flood of old thoughts and feelings suddenly reappear. But I must admit that I am not at the place where I started when I began to think about the concept of forgiveness for this […]
September 26, 2013

Blind Spots ~ Getting Past Our Fixed Mindsets

When I consider my past, I’m amazed at what I just did not see.  I wonder – what was I thinking at the time? Experience is not only a great teacher in the moment, but it gives us a context that changes our perception going forward.  Once you know what you know – about your own behavior, a job, a […]
September 19, 2013

Befriending Anger ~ (from the Emotion Series)

“Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you to understand what you need and what you value.” Thich Nhat Hah For seven years I regularly facilitated seminars on conflict resolution.  Most of the group participants wanted answers to problems they saw as the source of their conflict. Usually this had to do with fixing the behavior of […]
September 5, 2013

Mindfulness Goes Mainstream

The topic of mindfulness is popping up everywhere. While these somewhat militant monks seem the antithesis of the quiet, calm imagery associated with all things mindful, the message speaks to a larger wish for more awareness and sanity in a culture that often feels chaotic and confusing. From the pioneering program started by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts […]
July 5, 2013

The Voice in Your Head ~ What’s Your Work Narrative? – Reprise

You have a mental dialogue going on in your head that never stops. It just keeps going and going. Have you ever wondered why it talks in there? How does it decide what to say and when to say it? How much of it turns out to be true?                   What’s your workplace narrative – you […]
June 27, 2013

Emotional Intelligence ~ 20 Years On ~ Part 2

Continuing the conversation started in Part 1 of this article – several key questions keep surfacing.  One is the often unspoken tension between EI (Emotional Intelligence) and what is typically thought of as “therapy.” For anyone who has been involved in a therapeutic process, it’s immediately clear that learning and applying EI principles is very different from being “in therapy.” […]